buried underneath a swirly world

writing by Emma & photos by Cybelle

click photos to enlarge


See out citywide don’t know what I see. 

Cars moving collaterally. 

Peacocks up on the top of the hill I hear them calling across the way. Look out over at downtown, so loud so noisy i’m here so quiet so sweet. The sky looks like a treat (always does though). Eat up the moments thats what they say to do. Live all day long like a vegetable laying in the sun incarcerated by the fun we are supposed to have. Everyone over on every weekday and staying til the morning playing pretend talking shit talking and smoking. I don’t know if thats a star or a satellite rocket. Everything gonna be okay I promise. Everything gonna be okay I promise. 


Not enough money to do what we want. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday come on! Left the gallery all covered in ashes, trash, cigarettes. Falling in love again, eyes all red. Falling in love again, next day wish they was dead. Some theorize that this earth is hell you know, you can choose to believe that if it eases your mind. Find something else to believe if it doesn’t. 


I could have another life but I have mine.

A house that faces the view without windows. Sit and watches a screen. I hear the scream of peacocks in the distance. The difference is that’s what the decision is. Put it online and its callout culture. Put it in a book and its juicy, and I wish you wrote more about ME! ME ME ME! Thats what Ill call it, this fucking big hole in my pocket. Flushed my heart locket down the toilet at a Motel 6, so many times I thought it would end up like this. 


After this week I really need a break from things. 


Get back to my mind and what I make of things. 


Delete instagram and throw my phone out the window, do you feel me? 

you feel me?

I feel you.

cool. hot. lets get back to it

its in summer that things are happening so in LA its always happening. When its hot I get all naked and happy dancing and smiling and whatever else. Cover up the wall with plaster, chip off the paint from the floor, gloss it seal it stick it forgot it we are gonna trash it again by next weekend. Don’t swim if you don’t wanna go in the deep end. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE MONEY without discluding kids who are poor? I don’t wanna charge too much but I’m not mass producing idk it’s all super confusing. rhyming in doctor suess schemes. waking up from fever dreams like fuck i’m not sick anymore. 

you may never know what i’m referring to. 

turn up at the discography and icon photography. 

Brown hair and bangs wistfully wishing it was the late 60s again. GO OUT.… GET IT STARTED. Like… then go cut off your hair and fuck a guitarist. Let the queer kids come and go and grow let them just have space to live thats not on my couch because i need my personal space again. 

Let them make money! Let them thrive. im dead im dead im trying to act alive. This city is too small somehow, it sprawls out. like a drop of pancake batter spreading farther and farther each edge getting cooked to the crisp. left it on a pan too long that it feels like nighttime and a first kiss. 

Wanna go back to where I started. its like.. we help out these kids too much and then they turn around and are cooler than us? the fucking audacity! we got bills to pay! ur wearing designer shit! and are an anarchist! fuck when I was 16 I was 

long hair

long lashes

Somewhere buried underneath a swirly world

Las Vegas strips and Las Vegas sunsets

Friends come over to hang out and sleepover and make pancakes in the morning, the batter spreads and sprawls getting cooked to a crisp and i keep on forgetting to flip it 


Wanna make a movie but can’t remember to even drink water

help me guitarist

help me old big eyes

help me find this meaning to life

help me know what i’m supposed to do 

with it

without it

forget it


dead flowers cycle out create different bouquets shams falling asleep on a flower pillow clothes in a trash bag pink purse in a black suitcase clothes hanging in a coughed open closet putting face cream on before bedtime things got relocated

make it fake it break it take it 

drop the last name and pick it up now you’re famous

drop the last name

now pick it up …